Have you ever felt unseen, unnoticed, overlooked? Yeah, me too. I want to tell you something that happened to me. I hope it encourages you.
Last weekend I attended the Columbus Book Festival representing the Faith & Fellowship Book Festival. It was a good weekend despite a few showers on Saturday. My friend, author Sandra Merville Hart, and I talked to a lot of people, heard a lot of stories, and were blessed by so many who took the time to tell us they valued our mission of bringing readers and Christian authors together.
I had what Christians call a “God moment.” Something that tells you without a doubt you have received a message from God. Let me set the stage first with a confession of doubt and pouting. In 2017 I went to the Christian Fiction Readers Retreat as one of their featured authors. These were events that bring readers and authors together for a time of games and fellowship. It was held in Cincinnati so not too far. My husband went with me. He remembers my mood still.
It was huge. There were lots of best selling Christian novelists in attendance. I truly had no idea what it was like before I went. I did get to reconnect with some author friends like Rachel MacMillian and Rachel Hauck and Becky Waters. I met Carrie Turansky who was so encouraging to me. Even so, I felt like a fly on the wall. And then came the game that made me feel it was true: I didn’t really belong there. I felt unseen, unappreciated. (Which was silly given the hugs I got from the women I just mentioned.)
The game had a panel (authors and readers, I think) that had a limited time to guess the title of a book based on clues they were given. These were all books by the featured authors. There was one of these “big” authors on the panel. She was an extrovert, a big talker, a big seller–in other words, the opposite of me. They were giving clues about my book, Brigid of Ireland. Stuff like, ancient, saints, Ireland…None of the guesses were correct. The “big” author threw her hands up in the air and said, “But what else could it be?” I felt awful in that moment. I might have been thinking back to another awful moment.
In high school I qualified for my only advanced class: Advanced Exposition, an English class where you wrote essays. The day after we turned the first one in, the teacher began reading without identifying who the writer had been. It was my essay. An example of good writing? Nope. He proceeded to pick it apart and point out every error. I wanted to climb under my desk. Unworthy? Unvalued? I felt all the un-things that day. I abandoned creative writing for many years after that. So maybe that day in Cincinnati I went back there in my mind. A familiar and unwelcomed moment for sure.
As I said, that readers retreat wasn’t all bad. In one session, I don’t remember if it was the guessing game or not, I sat next to a young girl who told me she was also from the Columbus area. She was very nice. As I remember, the only reader I interacted with there. That was likely my fault given my foul mood. I sold one book while I watched other authors signing several. I think maybe it was this young girl who bought it but I don’t remember now for sure.
Fast forward eight years to the Columbus Book Festival. I had just returned to the tent from a bathroom break to see my husband talking to someone. She was looking for me. “Do you remember coming to an event in Cincinnati a long time ago? I sat next to you.” She remembered my book with a camera on the front (Grace’s Pictures.) Yes, of course I remembered! Did I ask her name? No. I regret that. If she’s reading this, please contact me! Girl, you have no idea what your parting words did for me, a message that God sees, like Hagar calling him El Roi, the God who sees. Those parting words? “Keep writing good books.”
I hope this encourages you. And please, please, watch these clips. They immediately came to my mind.
(There are probably ads but hang with it. Click to watch on YouTube)
Wow! Powerful message Cindy