{"id":743,"date":"2013-06-12T02:40:00","date_gmt":"2013-06-12T02:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cindythomson.wordpress.com\/2013\/06\/12\/growing-up-climbing-the-family-tree"},"modified":"2013-06-12T02:40:00","modified_gmt":"2013-06-12T02:40:00","slug":"growing-up-climbing-the-family-tree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cindyswriting.com\/index.php\/2013\/06\/12\/growing-up-climbing-the-family-tree\/","title":{"rendered":"Growing Up Climbing the Family Tree"},"content":{"rendered":"
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This is an awkward post for me to write, but I’m doing it because I want people to understand me better…or more likely, I want to understand myself better. When you read it, you’ll probably wonder what the big deal was. I’m not uncovering skeletons or confessing a sin. It will seem that way to you because you’re not me, so don’t feel bad.<\/p>\n

Well, you might know that families are complicated. You might relate to that concept. And a disclaimer first: my family loves me, and I love them. Okay. Here goes…<\/p>\n

Technically I was not an only child. I had three older sisters. (I say had because the oldest has passed away.)<\/p>\n

Since there are nearly seven years between me and my closest sister, I’ve heard it said (by Dr. Kevin Leman<\/a> and others) that puts me in the only child category. And quite honestly, it’s a lonely place to grow up.<\/p>\n

Don’t get me wrong, I love my sisters, but truly they grew up without me there and that changes how a relationship develops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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My mother and sisters long before me.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Why am I telling you this? Because while I was attending a writing seminar a few years ago, the leader kept asking me why writing these family legacy type stories was so important to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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No siblings in several of my growing up pictures.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

“Because,” I said, “we can all learn so much from history and the sacrifices made for us.”<\/p>\n

“Why?” she asked.<\/p>\n

“Because it’s important to know who you are.”<\/p>\n

“Why is it important?”<\/p>\n

“Uh, because then we will know where our place in the world is.”<\/p>\n

“Why, why, why?”<\/p>\n

Hmm…She made me search my heart and it came down to the loneliness. I need to feel connected to family because so often growing up, I did not.<\/p>\n

There you have it.<\/p>\n

That’s kind of a hard thing to admit, frankly.<\/p>\n

So I started wondering…<\/p>\n

Where is my place? How do I know I belong? What is the family legacy I need to pass on? Where does it start?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I imagine adopted people feel this even more strongly than I did, not to mention children raised in foster care. Everyone has to find that connection somehow. For some it comes through mentorship or close friends. Family gets redefined, and I think that’s the absolute right thing for some people.<\/p>\n

For me, I had a family. They were just older than me, and different, and involved in activities I was not ready for. I was on a journey to find my place.<\/p>\n

It started here:
I think I was about 13 or 14. My oldest sister (middle, in the big-legged pants and halter top) visited from California and we had a reunion with my mom’s side of the family. Always being the youngest (and most bored) I started collecting my relatives’ stories and recollections. Something you MUST do. Right now! All of you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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Agee Family Reunion<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
<\/a>Then several years later my parents bought me a book to record my family history. And I just took off from there.<\/div>\n

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This was taken in 1984 after we were all grown up. \u00a0Technically. \ud83d\ude42<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

There are advantages to being the youngest by many years. If I can’t think of any, my sisters will. But as for genealogy, my situation drove me to study the branches on the tree, and therefore I learned a lot. And when I have time to keep looking, I will certainly uncover much more. Anyone who does family research knows it’s never ending and addictive.<\/p>\n

Just a few of my discoveries:<\/p>\n

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